You said you wanted to spend so many more summers with me.
You wanted to see so much more.
“The world, in all its width.” You said.
You wanted to taste the salty taste of the ocean,
bathe in the sea of emotions.
You wanted to flee reality, to be everywhere,
but not with yourself. “So let’s go, now!” You wrote.
You have always been a fascination for me.
Fascinatingly beautiful and dangerous.
Soul mates. You called it that.
“Never again without you.”
You whispered in my ear.
I felt our souls dancing together.
No waltz. Tango.
I get dizzy in the process.
I did not want it to stop.
Even if you were leading and even if it was a dance for survival.
You repeated again and again how special it was between us.
And intimately. “Only you. Just us.”
I believed you.
I always had the feeling that I loved you too much.
Too much for a friendship.
The thought of losing you was always on my mind.
Too real for a dream. Too beautiful to be true.
I knew you wanted depth.
You were always longing for it.
I just didn’t know that you would empty me instead.
Now I am here. A somebody, a nobody, a something.
You said fire was not dangerous,
why do I keep burning myself?
You wanted to play catch,
but why do we always end up hiding?
When you disappeared you only left silence.
And the summer.
The summer you wanted to spend with me.
How dangerous were your friendships?
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