We live in a society that always wants to be flawless. A society that can never be fully satisfied. We always want to improve ourselves, do more self-optimization, become sportier, happier and more fulfilled. It goes always higher, further, faster. Better. As soon as we reach our goal, it goes straight on.
Never enough. More success, more money, more happiness.
You can find quite a nice example in this video:
We want to buy happiness. Swallow the pill for perfection. Everyone promises it to us, on every street corner. Everything can be bought, everything is available. A weekend seminar for self-discovery, a 15 hour online course to find your dream partner, tablets for the perfect figure. For you, your child, the dog. Everything tailor-made for every mood,
every preference. But it can also be a car that promises freedom, or a night at the club where you forget everything. And there is nothing reprehensible about that, maybe it helps us here and there.
What we forget, however, is that the real moral behind “being happy” is lost in a delusion of addiction and competition. Instead of going to the actual core, we cover it up and decide for the short satisfaction, the fast moment of happiness. This creates a relationship of dependence, because we never reach the stage of true fulfillment in this way. Instead of the promised freedom we only have more questions, we only feel lost in the masses. If this accumulates, it erupts like a volcano. So strongly, until we burn out.
We now define ourselves through happiness and make this our personal status symbol. Instead of acting out of fulfillment, we act out of emptiness, choosing fear instead of love. It is the fear of being judged, the fear of not being able to keep up, of failing.
But what we actually want is to feel. We want to feel deep love and fulfillment.
We strive for authenticity.
But the path of fulfillment is not always the most pleasant. In order to feel inner peace, we must say goodbye to our comfort zone and face ourselves. What’s frightening us the most? A journey into the unknown. We cannot predict how long it will go, not how difficult it will be. It can be a road full of stumbling rocks, one that goes very steeply uphill. We can sink into the depths or arrive faster than we think. And since we humans are plagued by a lot of impatience, we don’t want to face it. Because uncertainty means fear and fear means discomfort.
Driven by fear, we are much more receptive to our ego. And before we know it, we end up arm in arm with him at a generous buffet, lovingly feeding him all kinds of food day after day, so that he becomes big and strong. You already know what will come of it: Nothing good. And so we live in a constant cycle and let ourselves be overcome by fear every day, making decisions only for the short moment, for a feeling of happiness that is in the immediate vicinity. We let ourselves be guided by life instead of taking it into our own hands. Probably the habit that paralyzes the us the most is that same comfort. “I still have time for it. I’m still young.”
Yes, of course. “Only not now. Now is the time to befuddle our true feelings. Later is the time for it. Maybe next week? Oh, now that I see my calendar, more like next month.”
Why not let a fireworks crack together? To all the lost dreams. Let’s drink to a world like the Truman Show, where we only deny ourselves.
I don’t want to lie. Especially not to myself. I don’t want to wait either. For the perfect moment or the right moment. Because it will never come – I am sure of that.
Because instead of facing myself, I would only run away from myself.
My life should not splash down the stream, monotonous and grey.
It should not go down like a sad cut flower. What I want are miracles. Colours: Explosive and colourful day after day. Wake up at a sunrise in Hawaii and dance barefoot on the beach in the evening. I want to feel the wet sand on my feet and inhale my whole body with sea air. I want to sit by the campfire with my sweetheart and feel its heat warming our souls. I want to be surrounded by people I love. I want to laugh, from my heart. I want to write – because that is fulfilment for me. And there is one more thing I want:
I want to see, acknowledge and fill with love the emptiness that I sometimes have in me.
And you, what do you really want for your life?
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Masha is the founder of Literaa Poetry and the better half of Pedro.
She likes to write columns and lifestyle topics and takes care of the editorial staff. Read more about Masha here.