Spring of Life – Part II

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Procrastination: Being trapped in a dream world that prevents us from living our dreams on the real one. My life so far was a steady monochord rhythm, two chords repeating day and night. I always thinking how the song would continue. As I turned my face to look at her on that spring afternoon, I heard the strings breaking.
No more music. No more nothing. My body went completely numb.  Continue reading “Spring of Life – Part II”

Spring of life – Part I

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I traded seagulls for ravens. On my backpack I had three days worth of clothes, and a toothbrush. On my heart I had a lifetime worth of dreams. I waited too long for this, and I wonder why… I don’t want to think that I was too long trapped in my fears, in my anxiety, such a cliché, right? I mean, being so aware of the cockroaches on my head I should have known better, shouldn’t I?

Continue reading “Spring of life – Part I”

Spilled wine

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How many of my thoughts are just spilled wine? Promises of a future that became stains. They will always be there for me to remember who I was and the life I aspired. They come from a time where I used to think how much I had already accomplished. My young mind was impossible to break down, happiness was always present due to the promise of time. I looked to days to come like constellations high above in the night sky. What is there to find out? How long would it take me to get there? How small was I compared to them, how big can I grow? Continue reading “Spilled wine”

I’m naive and I’m fine with it.

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I’m naive. Very much. I didn’t notice that before, because I could blame it on my age. There it was still justified. Childlike carelessness. “Yes well, she’s still 17, she’s still learning that,” they said at the time. Meanwhile I’m 27 and it hasn’t got any better. Their head shaking. Always the same. And then there’s this slightly suggested smile and this: “Sweet.”
Continue reading “I’m naive and I’m fine with it.”

Sweet Home or Hell? – Homeoffice

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I always thought: This is my goal – to work from home. I imagined myself sitting totally relaxed in my apartment, having my lunch break (which I would do very regularly), going to yoga, from which I would come back even more relaxed. The sun would shine (all day) into the room and after my work (which of course would be so easy for me) I would meditate for a while on my balcony. (Now I have served all Berlin hipster clichés). But unfortunately I have to disappoint my former self. I mean that I still serve all clichés has not changed… But I’ve learned a few things about Homeoffice that I am going to tell you in this article.

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The Big Drop

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There I was. Hoping and hopping. Eager to get something I don’t want. Apply. Put on your mask and smile. Study your cliché list, memorize it, some jokes maybe? No, too much. Who has time to laugh? Put your head down and let them absorb you. Feel the anxiety mixed with a monochord vomiting of words. Don’t fall asleep, soldier!
Your mamma is counting on you. You are getting to old to eat at her table. Aren’t you tired of being left out?

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The Voyager II

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I’ve been floating for years only with the sound of my own voice. It shouts inside my head like in a long hall: “Is there anybody out there?” – The sound travels afar and it fades. Where am I? The smells, the faces, they are gone. My memory leaked into space, year by year, leaving an invisible trace. The route back is lost. Continue reading “The Voyager II”

I am alone but not lonely

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Short foreword: This article was published 2 years ago in an online magazine, a time when I was Single 😉 Maybe these words will help you, encourage or motivate you. That’s the main thing for us!

A lot of us don’t want to, can’t, can’t go around it. Many enjoy, love or hate it. Being alone, I notice that the word has a slightly negative echo. “I travel alone.” “I’m single.” It’s like I have to keep explaining myself.

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Oscars Day Part II

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With each visit she aged more and more, with that time beauty had also left her. Her eyes were red and shiny when she sat opposite him. He knew it was because of him and that it was not the only time he made her cry. When he married her he loved her, at least he felt an affection for her. She was pretty and warm-hearted. She was from a legal family and had money. Her grandfather left an inheritance and that was very convenient for him because he had a lot of debts.

Continue reading “Oscars Day Part II”