I always felt a bitter taste on my mouth when I saw someone of whom I liked leaving. Not because of the fact that I would miss them, I actually was always lingering for a little bit of sorrow from time to time. No, it was because I could never express to them how much I cared. It was always too hard for me to show emotions when I was a kid. I always felt naked and vulnerable by doing it. So much I wished to be different, to don’t disappoint others, to not make them think I’m some kind of sociopath.
The something I remember the most is the sun. It is most beautiful when we see his light through the reflections on the white marble walls, bouncing back and forth between them, a dance of light and life, and an ode to the dead who first saw how beautiful they could be. The thousands of sparrows and starlings pierced the diamond light, ignoring us simple creatures standing on the streets. What could we know? We couldn’t even feel the air rushing throw our feathers, the sun pointing us the direction on the next corner. We are mere stone statues for this enlightened beings. They know their way through life. We instead, battle with the little time we have to enjoy it, always finding excuses to be miserable. Happiness is a future thing. Always.
Far away from worries, everyday life I said goodbye to Berlin. Not to run away, but I needed a time-out. When the plane took off, it was as if the world was taking a deep breath and standing still for a moment. Up there where the city is just a miniature of itself I thought: the perfect place, the moment to write my book. I would sit at the terraces just like I did before, flooded with ideas and inspiration, writing chapter after chapter. I would proudly hold my finished book in my hands and take the flight home. But that wasn’t the case. One day after I arrived my laptop gave up and left me. Without a single explanation. I begged him to stay but he went on strike. Without ifs and buts. That was it with us. After 2 so intimate years. And now? If this situation had happened to me 3 years ago I would probably have panicked. My vacation? Definitely ruined. I sat down and thought. Calmly. My loud voices in the background, I didn’t listened to them. I won’t let myself roll over emotions. In Hanoi I said goodbye to my laptop.
I always liked to write in nature. My best works were created in the early morning hours in the rice terraces in Philippines. Well, maybe this place is not nearly like the rice terraces but not bad either, come on! In the Café “the greens” there are at least as many plants as in the Jungle. And that’s what they promise: Coffee and plants.